You're Doing It Wrong

Saw a good minor example of "you're doing it wrong" today. After completing my duties at one of the local public facilities, just as I finish washing my hands and turn for the door, I see a guy burst in, wash his hands, then go into the cubicle. Wait, what?

Additionally, god I wish I'd had my phone on me this afternoon. I saw an awesome classic mullet. There're quite a few mullets around here, but they're mostly trendy Jappo mullets, all fashionable and shit. They're still mullets though. But this dude today, holy shit. Classic business-up-front, party-out-back mullet - flat-top, shorn sides, and hair going halfway down his back looking all unwashed and hell of icky. Fucking epic mullet, and I wish I could've shared it with y'all.

Strange Things in a Strange Land

Sometimes things happen, wherever you are, that just defy all logic, all reason. Things to which no logical sequence of events could possibly lead. I saw just such a thing yesterday, and I will probably never figure it out.

I spent the afternoon at the Starbucks by Daan MRT station finishing off some work. With that down, I headed out to the MRT station to head home. As I approach the station entrance, I see a huge crowd gathered around, and while crowds of people are nothing special in Taipei, this crowd was actually stationary and focused on something. Something probably connected to the wailing, screaming kid noises. Getting closer, I see the sight, the scene that just fucking bewilders me still.

A little girl, no older than seven or eight, tops, is lying, if you can call it that, on the top handrail of steps leading into the station, flailing and crying, her legs wrapped around the handrail for dear life. (Bear in mind, there are only a handful of steps, and the handrail's probably a meter or so above them, so that was odd in and of itself.) Next to the kid is a parent - a fucking whale of a parent at that, to the point where I couldn't tell if it was mother or father 'cause at that size it would have had tits either way - grappling with the flailing monster, trying desperately to wrap their offspring in a towel. A towel? Yes, for a very specific - I hesitate to say good - reason. Now this is the part that renders the scene utterly unintelligible:

The kid was soaking wet, head to toe, and buck fucking naked.

So to recap: In central Taipei, a city of roughly six million people, this kid somehow ended up:

• At the MRT station
• Angry/mental
• Wrapped around a handrail
• Soaking wet, and
  
• Butt naked

I just don't know how in the hell that's even possible. Seriously, what the fuck. What sequence of events could possibly end in that result?

The world is a fucked up place sometimes.

It Was A Good Day (Week)

Pfft, as if a week off from this is anything new.

It was a good week. Got most of my work handled by the middle of the week, then made the most of the good weather on Friday, chilling out in the park, and then hitting up Yangmingshan Saturday afternoon. It's nice up there, nice and sunny, up above the smog and shit of Taipei, and full of people doing normal people shit you don't see in Taipei normally, like a family in the park playing backyard baseball. Nice recharge, and I'll slap up a few photos once I figure how to get the transfers off my phone working.

The nights were good too. Friday went out to Alleycat's at the invitation of Frost and got a nice dinner, chatting with people (and learning about the freakish genius of Blue Jam), before briefly going to the Taiwan Beer Bar and then to a place near the BJJ club called Playing, where me, Miltownkid, Pedro, and a few others hit up the hookah and potato wedges. Saturday, Bryan had a DJ gig at The Source, so from midnight till about 4 I was there making the most of the all-you-can-drink offer and spitting bilingual game like a modded PS2.

Then back into BJJ tonight after a week off for work/injuries/dodginess.

It was a good week.

Temporarily Stairs

An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

- Mitch Hedberg

In Taipei Main Station on Monday, I was heading down to the MRT Blue Line, making my way along with the crowd to one of the escalators down to the platform. I get there, and just as I'm about to step onto the escalator, this stupid fat bitch in white turns around and starts walking back up and off the escalator. It was at this point I realize the escalator's not moving. OK, that's a surprise, but I don't see why it merits getting off the escalator. But then she one-ups that; she walks across about a foot, and starts walking down the stairs instead.

Um..... yeah. OK.

Allahu Snackbar

After hearing about the place in the weekend from my flatmate Bryan, I finally managed to hit up Sababa Pita Bar today. Apparently they opened back in October or November, but this is the first I've heard of it, which is surprising. It's absolutely excellent.

The food is all nice and cheap, with pita sandwich type things costing NT$98 (NT$148 with chips and a drink), and the "cigars" - Middle Eastern spring rolls, basically - are delicious, particularly the Moroccan (spiced mince with pine nuts). I went down this afternoon and tried the chicken souvlaki pita and two cigars - the Moroccan and the Egyptian (spicy cheese). NT$244 in total, and a hell of a good feed. Tasty, freshly made, friendly service (with staff that actually speak English, rather than just pretending to)... top shelf the whole way. It is a little small, and their hours need some work (11:30am-9:00pm), but those are minor issues. They also do take-out and sell pita, hummus, tahini, and such in bulk. Strongly recommended for those of you in Taipei.

The restaurant's address is 1F, Alley 54, Lane 118, Heping E. Rd. Sec. 2, but the easiest way to get there is head to the corner of Fuxing S. and Xinhai, turn right onto Xinhai, right again at the Hi-life convenience store, and then first left. There's a map on the site that makes it clearer than that muddied-up pile of shit description though.