Strange Things in a Strange Land

Sometimes things happen, wherever you are, that just defy all logic, all reason. Things to which no logical sequence of events could possibly lead. I saw just such a thing yesterday, and I will probably never figure it out.

I spent the afternoon at the Starbucks by Daan MRT station finishing off some work. With that down, I headed out to the MRT station to head home. As I approach the station entrance, I see a huge crowd gathered around, and while crowds of people are nothing special in Taipei, this crowd was actually stationary and focused on something. Something probably connected to the wailing, screaming kid noises. Getting closer, I see the sight, the scene that just fucking bewilders me still.

A little girl, no older than seven or eight, tops, is lying, if you can call it that, on the top handrail of steps leading into the station, flailing and crying, her legs wrapped around the handrail for dear life. (Bear in mind, there are only a handful of steps, and the handrail's probably a meter or so above them, so that was odd in and of itself.) Next to the kid is a parent - a fucking whale of a parent at that, to the point where I couldn't tell if it was mother or father 'cause at that size it would have had tits either way - grappling with the flailing monster, trying desperately to wrap their offspring in a towel. A towel? Yes, for a very specific - I hesitate to say good - reason. Now this is the part that renders the scene utterly unintelligible:

The kid was soaking wet, head to toe, and buck fucking naked.

So to recap: In central Taipei, a city of roughly six million people, this kid somehow ended up:

• At the MRT station
• Angry/mental
• Wrapped around a handrail
• Soaking wet, and
  
• Butt naked

I just don't know how in the hell that's even possible. Seriously, what the fuck. What sequence of events could possibly end in that result?

The world is a fucked up place sometimes.

Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K

One of the latest mysteries of Taiwan - and presumably other countries, but I'm not in other countries - to rear its head and occupy my mind is this:

Why do convenience stores advertise on TV?



What's the point? No-one has and brand loyalty to any particular convenience store; if I want to go buy a Coke or whatever, I go to the nearest store, I don't home in on, say, 7-Eleven. The only times anyone specifically goes to store x are when that store has a particular thing others don't - for instance, as far as I know Family Mart is the only one that sells SkypeOut credit - or, for some people, if you want to collect that rubbish they give away.

I know it must serve some purpose, surely. There has to be some effect. But I don't see it. I just don't get it. I understand why fast food chains advertise - there's a genuine preference issue there; some people prefer Burger King, others prefer McDonalds, and the role of advertising is essentially conversion. But that doesn't work for convenience stores.

Temporarily Stairs

An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

- Mitch Hedberg

In Taipei Main Station on Monday, I was heading down to the MRT Blue Line, making my way along with the crowd to one of the escalators down to the platform. I get there, and just as I'm about to step onto the escalator, this stupid fat bitch in white turns around and starts walking back up and off the escalator. It was at this point I realize the escalator's not moving. OK, that's a surprise, but I don't see why it merits getting off the escalator. But then she one-ups that; she walks across about a foot, and starts walking down the stairs instead.

Um..... yeah. OK.

Lords and Ladies, Welcome to Medieval Times!

In yet more proof that flying to Taiwan must at some point involve a trip backward in time - it's the only explanation for much of the weirdness here - this story from Saturday's Taipei Times talks about protests over the closure of Losheng Leprosarium in Taipei County.


It's not the protests, nor the closure of the leprosarium that has me confused. No, it's much simpler than that. What the hell is a (presumably) developed country in the 21st century doing with a fucking leper colony? I thought that stopped getting taken seriously around about the time they stopped bleeding people to cure diseases. How on Earth does a country responsible for making some of the more high-tech components for iconic 21st century products like iPods, Wii's, and big-ass TV's simultaneously also have such archaic ideas about, well, anyone who's even remotely different to the hoi polloi? This is madness!