You're Doing It Wrong

Saw a good minor example of "you're doing it wrong" today. After completing my duties at one of the local public facilities, just as I finish washing my hands and turn for the door, I see a guy burst in, wash his hands, then go into the cubicle. Wait, what?

Additionally, god I wish I'd had my phone on me this afternoon. I saw an awesome classic mullet. There're quite a few mullets around here, but they're mostly trendy Jappo mullets, all fashionable and shit. They're still mullets though. But this dude today, holy shit. Classic business-up-front, party-out-back mullet - flat-top, shorn sides, and hair going halfway down his back looking all unwashed and hell of icky. Fucking epic mullet, and I wish I could've shared it with y'all.

I Scoff at Your So-called "Rule of Law"

Finally, today, proof that Taiwanese are not devoid of a sense of irony. I hope.

Former Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) chairman Ma Ying-jeou (馬英九), who is to appear in court for a hearing tomorrow, said yesterday he would run for president next year even if the court were to render a guilty verdict.

"If the first trial finds me guilty, I will still run" said Ma, who is set to register his candidacy for the KMT presidential primary soon.

"They would not get what they want by trying to use litigation to beset me, or even knock me down," he said.

Ma is suspected of embezzling NT$11 million (US$332,425) and was indicted on Feb. 13 on corruption charges.

Source: Taipei Times, April 2

Now a Taiwanese politician ignoring the law and common sense is nothing new, but bear in mind, this man has a Bachelor of Law from National Taiwan University, an LL.M. from New York University, and an S.J.D. from Harvard. The man understands the concept of "guilty means you did bad shit". And the idea that a convicted criminal, especially one convicted of stealing public money, should not be running the country should not be that hard for a Harvard graduate to fully comprehend.

Reading The View from Taiwan the other day, I found a link to this blog post, wherein the blogger in question wonders aloud why so many foreigners in Taiwan seem so pessimistic about the place. Protip: Bullshit like this is why.

Both Sides Now

Finally got off my ass and made it back down to Riverside for the first time in a while to check out one of my favorite indie acts here, Coach. Unfortunately, first I had to sit through the support act. (pic related)

The first act of the double-header, and as such the first hour of two, was a band I'd heard of only in passing, The White Eyes. As it turns out, there's a reason "in passing" is the most I've heard of them. They represent almost everything that is epic fail in Taiwanese popular and youth culture. The music is technically tolerable, but they desperately, desperately want to be punk, except for the fact they have none of the talent, emotion, experience, or linguistic capability necessary to do so. The guitarists do nothing more than thrash out the same piece of shit "melody" that they've robotically memorized for EVERY. SINGLE. SONG., while the "vocalist" - in the loosest sense of the term - screams incoherent English lyrics into the microphone. Even better, she seems to have decided that punk = British, so she does all this with an amazingly affected pseudo-English accent and peppering her songs with Britishisms like "bloody," despite clearly not understanding them. This leads to her sounding like the bastard love child of Sid Vicious and Mushmouth, but without the eloquence. Even worse, they have no stage presence. None. Zero. It was the loudest hour of boredom ever.

tl;dr: The White Eyes are fucking lifeless, soulless, poor excuses for robotic punks.

But then Coach came on, and renewed my faith in Taiwan and Taiwanese music.
These boys know how to put on a fucking show. Talking shit to each other and the audience between songs, getting the audience singing along - no mean feat here either, each of the instruments working together instead of sounding like a bunch of showoffy fucks, and a lead vocalist who stalks and bounces around the stage like he owns that shit. The sheer energy they put out in that hour had everyone in the crowd enjoying themselves. Good thing, too, since last time I saw them they put on a decidedly average show, and sounded like they were going soft. Turns out that was a slump, at worst.

You'd think in a culture so oppressive of creativity, independence, and individualism, Taiwanese youth would freak the fuck out like their Japanese counterparts do. But no, most just buckle under the pressure and become robots capable of little more than soulless memorization and repetition. Thank God there are some who manage to come out of the process with some sense of themselves. That minority give me faith that perhaps there's a chance Taiwan's going to end up alright after all.

For your listening pleasure (and as a reward for getting through all that crap): Coach - Ballet Girl (mp3)

Incongruity

There are moments when this country doesn't so much annoy, frustrate, or amuse me as it does just fucking boggle the mind. Moments like today, when I saw the bus-side ad for the movie Ghost Rider, which included the standard note about who was performing the Chinese-language "theme" for the thing. Now Taiwan's remarkably thin on anything even remotely approaching masculine musically, but surely they're taking the piss now.

The performers of the theme song for Ghost Rider are 5566 - these guys:


For your reference, this is Ghost Rider:


Seriously. What the fuck people.