And this is why Taiwan is inevitably doomed to failure....

This is, believe it or not, a campaign commercial for a guy running for Taipei City council. Yes, all of Taiwanese politics is more or less this retarded.

I have a band of men, and all they do is play for me.

In a sign of everything that is messed up, wrong, and cool about this country, banners have been flying from lampposts Taipei wide announcing June's big event:


The "British Elvis" is making his way to these shores, July 20. And who, the few of you who are too daft and/or foreign to miss the reference in the title may ask, is the "British Elvis"?

Englebert. Motherfucking. Humperdinck.

This is possibly the only remotely cool possible "big-name" *coughcough* concert to hit Taipei of late, coming as it does in a series with Paul Anka, Andy Williams, and Air Supply. Yeah, we rocking it hardcore here, Far Eastside, biatch.

Now all I need to do is find out if he's going to do that song and I may actually consider it.